Losing a person you care about is a difficult experience and can take a long time to come to terms with. The nature of the death (e.g. long term illness, sudden unexpected death, violent death, freak accident) can impact on your ability to cope and with your ability to build a new life without this person.
The nature of the relationship can also have a great impact on your grief. Losing a child or partner means losing the future you have imagined for yourself and this can be scary and feel hopeless. Losing a parent, sibling or friend means that you have lost an important part of your support system. You may feel very alone if you have the lost the person who would have most likely been your support when something difficult happens in your life. Losing both parents means that you might feel orphaned even though you are an adult yourself with your own family. Responsibilities and relationships in families can change when a member of the family dies and you may struggle with the new family dynamic as either others take too much control or leave too much to you.
You may experience depression, anxiety, guilt, anger, yearning, sadness, hopelessness, despair and many other feelings. At times you might wish you were not here. Your eating, sleeping, energy, concentration and motivation may be impaired. You may experience loss of confidence, self-esteem and self-worth.
Many people feel isolated in their grief. Often there is an expectation to get on with life within a short period of time as if nothing has happened. Others quickly seem to forget about your loss or expect you to be over it. However, for you the world might feel like a different place and you find yourself going through the motions, feeling unreal.
Sometimes people are traumatised by what they have witnessed or by what they imagine has happened to their loved one, particularly if they don't know all the facts due to the circumstances of the death. You may have flashbacks of what you have witnessed or imagined, have nightmares, feel more anxious and jumpy and are preoccupied with your own safety or the safety of those you care about.
Bereavement support provides you with the space to express all your feelings as often as you need to. You can talk about the person you have lost and what this person means to you.
Eventually, when you are ready, we will look at ways for you to build yourself a new life in which there is room for the person you have lost but also for you to experience joy and have a sense of meaning in your life.
For some people it is very difficult to adapt to a life without their love one and they stay stuck in a state of acute grief without the pain showing any signs of easing. Even though there is no universal timeline for grief, most people can look back after a few months, a year, two years and see that life is a getting a little easier over time.
If you are remaining pre-occupied with the deceased for much of the day, are fearful of reminders of this person or spend so much time with the deceased person's possessions that you can not pursue family life, work, or a social life, you may consider seeking support.
You may have experienced the loss of person you deeply care about but you cannot talk to anyone about this loss due to the nature of the relationship or nature of the death.
I will respect your feelings of loss and grief without judgement, no matter what the circumstances of your bereavement.
You may only just have found out that a person you care about is terminally ill or you may have known this for a while and this person is now dying. There may be things you want to say to this person or ask questions but you don't know how to find the words or courage. You may worry about what is ahead of you and the person who is dying.
I will support you in understanding your feelings and help you make plans to help you support yourself during this difficult period in your life.
Literature suggest that good pre-bereavement support can help clients to recovery more quickly following a bereavement.
£50/h for individuals
£65/h for couples